I woke from a nap this afternoon, while down here in Bethany Beach, DE, to find a text message on my phone that really threw me. It asked me if Kim Hoyle had died.
I then checked Facebook (the place where my interactions with Kim had taken place over the last year or so), to see what was going on. It was there that I saw that, in fact, Kim Hoyle had indeed passed away.
In 1985, I sat in the back of Mr. Leung’s math class at Concord High School with two other guys, Jackie and Matt. These seats were strategically chosen by us, because in the back is where all the cool people sat.
YOU wouldn’t understand the intricacies of such a brilliantly hip social mechanism.
At the very front of our rows, sat Scott, Flora, and Kim Hoyle. I remember this, because on more than one occasion, while being some level of a wiseass, Kim would get up, come to the back, and threaten me with physical abuse. Hey, what do you want from me? I tell you all the time that I was a complete asshole. Besides, I think I would always pass the blame on to Matt or Jackie anyway.
When passing papers to the back, Kim would have to get up and walk to us, because there was a huge gap between us in the back, and Kim and crew up front. Kim would hand the papers to me with a look of disgust, or some *noise* that indicated disgust. It was different than the look of disgust that other girls gave me at the time because it contained the hint of violence, and I wasn’t gonna push the issue!!
Pretend we just hit a virtual fast forward button, and we have arrived in the days of Facebook and lattes. See, Facebook wasn’t invented in the 80′s, and I think frozen yogurt with granola on top was the latte of the time, but I was never as trendy as you so I could be wrong.
About a year ago, during one of my MANY babbling sessions about how men are superior to “wimmens” on Facebook, I noticed a friend request. It was from Kim Hoyle, and I thought “Uh Oh!” .
Clearly, I had said something wrong again, and Kim was walking back from the virtual front of the class to let me know I could get hurt!
But that wasn’t the case at all.
From that day forward, Kim joined in on the bash sessions….ALWAYS bringing something hilarious to the table. And ok, women may want to stop reading right about now….but here goes….I don’t find a lot of women to be…funny. Like female comedians for instance…I don’t find them funny. They just don’t have the same sense of humor as me, so it all just falls flat.
But not Kim. She was truly hilarious.
She was part of a small group of women that made me laugh consistently. She “got it” somehow, when so many other women don’t. I hope she knew that, because sadly, I never told her that the way I said it here today. I said it with “lol” from time to time, because that’s how we talk now. But I didn’t say it the way I wish I did now.
It’s funny how we all change and grow, or how our perceptions of someone are often not even remotely correct.
Today, while I lament the loss of a friend, I’m thankful for the fact that she became one. While so many times we hear how our generation spends too much time socializing “virtually”, I would suggest that without that, I would never have known the wit of Kim Hoyle. I would have simply remembered the look of disgust from Mr. Leung’s class. And I would suspect that the MANY other people who loved interacting with her, and who had a daily smile brought to their face by her would say the same.
Kim Hoyle was a STRONG presence in a world where your words and thoughts are the only tools you have to demonstrate *who you are* to the masses. She had things to say, and she said them with a wit, wisdom, and sense of humor that can only be described as a gift.
You will be missed deeply, sister.
Rest In Peace.